objectively bad for you
the world of dark romance…that rapidly swelling corner of trash fiction, so full of atrocious descriptions of food and painfully stilted narrations about feeding each other both appendages and forkfuls. it makes one wonder how unfulfilled the majority of middle aged readers are, in so many categories.
i used to wonder as a child how the good guys in the movie could just forget that google exists when working diligently towards the obvious goal of saving the world, how they could have cell phones but not cameras on their phones, and how stupid the smart people were supposed to be, but how smart the dumbasses were apparently - suspending disbelief has never been a skill of mine - and the older i get the less and less i have found movies or series to in any way capture enough of my viewing attention to stop the constant “what the fuck is this…that’s not how that works…you are actually shitting me that this is the whole point?” muttering in the back of my head.
which leads to the absurdity that is fantasy, science fiction, and modern romance - none of it feels even remotely real enough to inspire a second thought. if magic and dinosaurs and compassionate gangsters with 6 packs can exist so freely, who cares about the other idiot details. no one ever takes a shit in the forest, taxes don’t need to get paid on drug money, and of course the space ship always has enough fuel to make it to the next planet. it’s all fine and dandy, and consensually randy.
SO WHY THE FUCK IF WE’RE IMAGINING THE PERFECT WORLD, DOES THE FOOD SUCK SO FUCKING MUCH.
a girl who went to culinary school who has never had a maple bar?
the richest gangster in town who has never been to the nicest restaurant around?
the super fancy restaurant that serves risotto for the main course without a protein?
crab and scallops are the fanciest thing someone with a lambo has ever eaten?
i just want to forget about the falling empire for an hour or two, so can someone please write an escapism book that has half decent descriptions of food? otherwise just skip it and assume we all know they eat sandwiches and foie gras where appropriate.
JFC.
