ive had enough

originally published on August 16, 2016

I wonder at times, if there is a thing as too much - if that in fact exists as a reality, or merely a trope. Can you have too much of something, if you can have it? Can I have too much food if it fits inside me? Too much love? Too much anguish? If the vessel holds the contents, can it in fact be too much for that thing to hold? Is it only breaking that demonstrates a threshold, of too?

What about broken things then, can a broken bowl have had too much inside of it, if it didn't fit? It wasn't too much, it was enough to break it, enough to equal this much, enough to do something. 

So if too much doesn't exist, what about just enough. Is there a threshold for just? If the water comes up to the edge of the glass, but doesn't spill out, is that just enough? What if I add another drop, and the surface tension pulls up toward the heavens, is that just enough? And if I add enough to make it spill out and gush around my fingers, is that too much, or just enough to achieve, wet fingers.

Too much and just enough, and not enough. How does one lead, then bleed, and finally read into the next?

Not enough. That I can find in the annals of life - not enough happens many times, if not every time. If a threshold defines too much, and just enough, is everything below, to the side, or underneath then...not enough? 

For what? To achieve what? Does a result have to exist to justify quantification, or quality of existence? I hope not, I surely pray not. All that prayer I'm doing, is it enough? How much is enough? 108 times? 24 times 108? A million times infinity squared?

Enough.