In a hurry to get things done I suppose

Please - do go faster, Im in a hurry though I don't know why. 

One step at a time and suddenly you're running, who knew we had such purchase power. A cove on the sound and a house thats nicer than anything except...well I do have a decent track record I suppose. But this one feels like home. Home, the heart, be still my beating one. 

i rush and rush until lifes no fun, clean up to break down and turn in a circle to start over again. for the purpose of the dizzy heartache i think. 

so whats the worst that happens, the 4 hours a day in the journey are the scariest part of this all - just more incentive to find a better job on this side of the water, without crossing that little boutique gem in the emerald sea. take me back to a little wood burning hole in the wall. Maybe build one. 

all ive really got to do is live and die, i just want to die with my feet in salt water. be buried under a fruit tree. stay there until the mushroom clouds blow the dust to mars. 

it feels like everything up to this moment has been a trial for this - for this experience - how many times does that happen in a life, like layers of the onion peeling back, each one more poignant than the last, making your eyes cramp and trickle salt 

but im in a hurry and dont know why, how do you make that quiet space inside you, how do you make it into something besides a flash before the crushing racing heart pounding anxiety comes back. 

maybe its somewhere out there along the highway, between the sound and the hillside, under a cedar tree.